I recently finished reading the true love saga of The Pioneer Woman and her husband Marlboro Man. She did a series of blog posts (titled Black Heels to Tractor Wheels) recounting how she met her husband and the decisions she had to face in order to maintain a relationship with him. She is an excellent writer and has a way of capturing the essence and emotion of the moment that sometimes had me panting and wanting to run off to Oklahoma to find me a cowboy of my very own . . . but I digress. The point of this is that it got me thinking of my relationship with David and if I would have done anything different. But before I begin I have to stipulate that I can't really compare my life to hers for several reasons.
David and I are from similar enough backgrounds that going from my life to his wasn't that big of a stretch. I wasn't forced to give up bookstores (hallelujah), easy access to coffee shops or a good place to get my nails done.
I never had the urge to move as far away from home as she did. While I like to fantasize that I could have made a go of it in Boston, Seattle or New York I just never had the gumption to make it reality. Two hours away was plenty enough for me. Close enough that I could go home on the weekends and far enough away that I didn't have parents breathing down my neck and watching my every move.
And this one is the biggie - from what I've experienced in my own life, her husband is truly a diamond in the rough. While I love my husband and wouldn't trade him for anything, Marlboro Man seems to be the living epitome of a cowboy gentleman. I'm sure, just like every man, he has his flaws and should by no means be idolized but it's comforting to know that men like him actually do exist outside of the publishing world.
Now the whole point of this little spiel is to reminisce on my feelings and thoughts, not just moon over her good fortune and wish it were mine.
She made a comment in one of the chapters (I'm sorry I can't remember where exactly) about how she thought that a couple should be able to feel like they were the only ones in a crowded room. I remember feeling like that with David. We were at a coffee shop in downtown Boise, The Flying M, and they have these spectacular couches to sit on. It was towards the end of our date and we had gone to have coffee and just relax and be together. At some point the place was empty enough that I had room on the couch to lay my head down in his lap and close my eyes for a minute. I was still in school at the time and it had been a long week. I wasn't ready to fall asleep but I just wanted to chill for a bit. We sat like that for quite a while. I don't remember talking, just him running his fingers through my hair and sipping his Earl Grey tea. (Even though I hate tea I will forever associate the smell of Earl Grey tea with David.) I don't know how long we sat there but as soon as I sat up so we could leave it was like someone had turned the volume back on. I didn't realize it at the time but it was as if someone put the whole restaurant on mute and all I could focus on was me and David. I don't know if he felt this way but to me it was kind of surreal. I'd been encased in my own little world with him and hadn't even realized what was happening.
This particular memory has always stuck with me. It reminds me of the beginning of a relationship when everything is new and exciting and you just get lost. I never got hiney tingles or gave up my plans for David but that doesn't mean I love him any less. He sees me for me, tells me he likes to kiss me and says I'm cute when I'm pouting. There's even some weird geek math equation to prove his love (he says) that involves cake and TV but it's too complicated for me to explain.
So, in order to give my unemployed mind some food for thought, I'm going to try and regularly post good memories of my husband, friends and family. It will give me something good to think about and help me remember the reasons they are in my life.